I’m finally over in my battle called “Depression.” I experienced this roller coaster of emotions a few years back when I did nothing but cry every time I go back to our dorm. Everything was normal in school but when I was alone in my room I cry and cry and cry. I actually forgot how I got over it.
And just recently, I have been experiencing the same feeling. I refused to face the real issue. I just went on with my life until I finally realized that I need to do something about it. My work had been affected; my family and even my relationship with other people dear to my heart had been affected. My attitude towards everything and everybody had changed.
One day, I decided to face it. I sat down and painfully figured out what was causing it. Perhaps it was about the big goals I set for myself and literally none of them materialized. Have you experienced it when right after graduation, you are so excited to conquer the world and then you realize it’s not that easy? I felt that when my plans failed, I refused to stand up and start over. I was pretty satisfied with my diagnosis. So as I battled with depression, I started to gather myself and devised another plan to reach my goals. It was realistic enough. But you know what? There was still no peace in my heart. At that moment, God shook my heart and made me realize that the failure in my goals isn’t the core reason for my loneliness. It was my relationship with God slowly falling apart. At first, I didn’t feel the weight of going astray and turning my back to Him. But when I was far far away, that’s when I realized how precious God is in my life. Before I try to deal with other areas of my life, I must first fix my relationship with Him.
There is no greater joy that being with God! I am overjoyed that in spite of me neglecting God, he still did not give up on me. And now, I can finally say… God made me victorious in this battle!
All glory and praise to God!
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